When I was a little kid, my favorite pastime was fantasizing about what my life would be like when I grew up. I’d be skinny, my jeans would fit perfectly, I’d be dancing on the Michael Jackson Tour, and dating whatever girl was the object of my fascination at the time. The reality was that I was chubby, my jeans were so wrong, hardly even talking to the object of my fascinations, and stuck dancing alone in my living room. I regret - to some degree - those hours I spent wallowing in that state of illusion and not directing that energy towards action. But I forgive that sweet boy for coping as best he could; copying with my own inability to see any of those fantasies as obtainable realities and having the wherewithal to do the simple actions that may lead me towards that place.
Even now, as an adult, I find myself passing the time daydreaming about doing something and, yet, not do it. Usually it’s fear of judgement or a lack of belief in myself that stops me from taking action. Often, it is the stark reality that my first action towards a sexy, lofty goal may be painfully mundane, boring, or almost so simple that it doesn’t even seem possible that it could lead me in the right direction. And, sometimes, it is simply the lack of knowing what the first step should be. While these obstacles play out in my adulthood, they were entirely at play in my youth, as well.
I see clearly now that there can be a chasm between the “idea” of my life and and the “actuality.” So, here’s how I’ve been able to bridge that chasm.
I acknowledge the painful thoughts and feelings that emerge.
Set them aside.
Acknowledge that my spirit will diminish three sizes too small if I don’t take action.
Take a deep breath, muster some patience, and pick one tiny, mundane, simple action in response to my dream.
Do it once, do it again, do it 3,000 more times. Slow, steady, faithful, and patient.
And while the time has passed for me to join Michael Jackson’s Tour as a back up dancer, I can have my aunt teach me how to salsa dance.
Tell me about what you are daydreaming about today?